Traveling Solo to 30 Countries: How the World Changed Jessica McGann

Hey, one more Thing before you go.What's it like to travel and experience the world firsthand?What parts of these societies and cultures that you visited do you actually bring home with you and are they a benefit?Is the film and television industry as glamorous as it appears, or is it disillusioned?Stay tuned.I'm going to have a conversation with a woman that has all of these answers and shares her journey of overcoming immense odds to change her life.And she can help you change yours.We're going to talk about that.I'm your host, Michael Herst.Welcome to One more Thing before you go.My guest in this episode is Jessica McCann.Jess spent over two years traveling the world solo, living in countries such as Australia and New Zealand.She's accumulating 30 countries and still counting.When she returned home.She worked her way up in the film and television industry and is now a TV producer, having worked on shows such as Big Brother, Canada, Top Shelf, Canada, Blown Away, an all around champion all in Canada.But that's good.It's okay.What a film coming out of Canada.When her mental health hit rock bottom in 2020, she became passionate about learning all things mental health and returned to school to receive her diploma in life coaching.Jess now works as a practicing life coach and educator within her business.Coached by Jess.We're going to talk about that too.Through one on one sessions workshops and her podcast, the Pivot Point, she shares her passion for mental health and mindfulness and guides others to achieve more alignment in a fulfilling life.Welcome to the show.

Yes, thank you so much for that introduction, Michael.I'm really excited to be here.

Even with the boo boos, it wasn't too bad.

You aced it.

Aced it, aced it.Listen, I really appreciate you coming on the show.We've had a conversation previously on your podcast the Pivot Point, which is just released.It's a brilliant podcast.We'll talk about it here later in the show.But I want to make sure everybody gets a good interest in coming to visit you on that show.

Yeah.And your episode's going to be fantastic.I've already started editing it.It sounds great.Michael, you've got such a good story and that was such a fun conversation.So I'm so excited to be talking to you again.

It was, it was.And I am, I am.It just works out.We're going to have a whole different kind of conversation now.Although there will be a little tidbits of information that we might be sharing similar things.But I think you've got an amazing life journey and I kind of like to, if you don't mind, kind of explore that a little bit.

Yeah, I would love to explore that.I'll happily tell pretty much anyone about my life.I think that's maybe why I'll do so good in these, or hopefully will do so good, is because I'm pretty much an open book and always happy to share because I believe that stories connect us.And in a world of social media where everyone's lives look picture perfect, it's extra hard to feel connected to ourselves and what we truly want in this.

I agree with that.And I think we've lost connectedness.I think that social media, everybody get their nose on a phone instead of, you know, looking at each other across the dinner table and have a conversation.You know, I think that people need the collectiveness again.

They're addictive.Those phones are addictive.They're like that for a reason.They're designed to be that way.

Unfortunately, way back when, Stone Age, when I was a kid, we never thought about that.But watching Star Trek, we went, hey, that's pretty cool.But now living it to a certain perspective, you kind of go, can you put the phone down just for a few minutes?

And this has come up like so fast.Like we didn't have social media.Like we maybe had social media.Facebook came out in 2017, I think, like it wasn't that long ago.No, 2007.2007 Is what I was trying to say.

2007, Yeah.Yeah.Well, even then, 2007, it was a new thing because even the, the, well, the Internet wasn't that old even at that time.You know, theoretically it wasn't that old.So, you know, I know when I was with the police department, we were just getting.And we had computers, but they were, they were very slow computers.And you know, we didn't have any cars.When I first started as a cop, that was something you call dispatch and ask them and they'd run it through NCIS or ccis, which took a while to come back sometimes.And that was pretty much your computer.

Silly question, but on topic of the computer, like, how did you get to, to where you needed to go without a gps?Or did cop cars have a GPS at that time?Like, how did you whip out a map?

Like, yeah, basically.Yeah, basically you carried a map with you and yeah, I worked for two different departments.One of them was a county.And this was side note, the county was 2,100 square miles.So you get assigned a district for a little While.And you work the district for about six months.Well, but just about the time you get to know all the streets and the houses and the businesses and everything else, then they'd move you to another district and then you'd have to kind of do the same thing.And, you know, it's just like growing up in a city, though.You grow up in a city and you kind of know how to get around and what's where and what it needs to be.So that's kind of what you had to do.You had to.And then when you're training, when you go into a department, you train, all you do is drive around and you.You learn and you find that the major streets and the minor streets and the neighborhoods and you know, what's where and this kind of thing.So it was constant, repetitive.Nowadays, like you said, it's nice because they've got.I mean, they were putting computers in the car before I left, just for the record.But nowadays it's evolved so much that they'll send you an address on your computer that you need to go to, and it brings up a GPS map and it tells you how to get there.

Probably the best route with the less traffic and all of that kind of information.

Oh, it's amazing.I mean, it's just.It's amazing.I.It's like.It almost makes me want to go back to being a cop just to.

Do that, just to try it out, just to see how it just exactly.

Say, I'm a retired sergeant.Can I borrow your car just for a little while.But let's talk about.Let's talk about you.I like to.I like to kind of learn a little bit more about where you come up and so forth.So where'd you grow up?

So I grew up in.Just outside of Toronto, Ontario, here in Canada.I grew up with my mom at a very, very young age.I was probably like 6 or 7.I was at my neighbor's house, and I remember watching a Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen movie of some sort.And I just had this aha moment of, oh, that's what I'm going to do.I'm gonna be an actress.I'm gonna.I'm gonna put on shows for people.That's what I want to do.And that landed so hard for me that, that point forward, like that is what I poured my heart and soul and energy into.I was always putting on plays, writing scripts, writing poetry.I was taking the dance classes, acting classes, singing classes.I was finding.I was young and I was finding auditions in the newspaper and begging my parents to take me to them.I was asking for agents, which, in reflection, I'm now grateful, but at the time, I wasn't that they wouldn't get me one until I could actually physically drive myself to the auditions.I think that was more so their way of protecting me from this industry than.Than them just not having the time from all of that.I ended up going to an arts high school where I was a drama major.And then after that I went to college and I studied theater, classical theater, performance art there.And it was a very intense, very serious theater school.I think it's number two in Canada for theater performance.And it was like every stereotype of an acting program that you can think of.It was hard, and you had teachers that were not always the nicest.And the program demanded us to be there six days a week.I think we went like, we were called at like 8am and we would.I would be there sometimes until like 9pm in a studio working on a monologue or a script or whatever it may be.So I, I feel like I grew up really fast in a way because I took my career very seriously very early on, and that was also my safe space because I was bullied a lot.I have add, I have learning difficulties.I. I struggled in school and I was the weird theater ADHD kid.So a lot of the times I was an easy target because I had a lot of energy that a lot of people didn't understand, kids and adults alike.But what happened was in my.A college program, in my second year of college, I was raped at a party.And that shook everything inside of me.I was so anxious and depressed, and I was struggling with feelings I had never felt before.I was 19 years old and it was with a friend.So that was just an extra level of confusing for me.And so to be existing in an industry and in a program that oftentimes critiques you and your tool is you.You are as an actor, as a performer, like, this is my tool.And so receiving critiques and criticisms, it was really hard at that young age and at that time in my life to not take those things personally and to heart.And so when I emerged into the industry, graduating this program, I was top of my acting ability, but I had no capacity to hold the stress and the, the pressures of that world, which you're, you're.You're familiar with the film and television and just entertainment industry yourself.Like, it's not easy.And there is a lot.I mean, we'll get into this, I'm sure, as I move forward and as I enter that kind of area.But it's a.It's a tough.It's a tough industry to navigate.

It's a very tough.Especially as a female.I mean, unfortunately, as a female, you know, we've had the conversation that my oldest daughter was involved in the industry for quite some time, and she got burned out as well.And I'm sure that, you know, she.She was.She was excelling in it.And I think that, you know, there was a traumatic incident somewhere along the way herself that she's afraid to tell me because I, as a father, I would want to take action that, you know, would.Would be beneath my law enforcement.

Yeah.Yes.

Easy way to say that.Yes.You know, but she kind of had to walk away from it as well, because it is.It's just.It's tough on an individual and it.And it's harder on, unfortunately, on women.

And it.And it's not even down to how talented you are.You could be, like you said, your daughter was talented.You could have all the talent in the world, but if you do not look the way that they need you or want you to look for that role, you're not getting it.Or even nowadays, I can't even imagine for actors and performers, because your Instagram following and your social media presence is also now playing a part in whether or not you get the lead role.Is your social media going to help promote this film, so to speak?Like, it's only gotten harder.

Yeah, gotten.Definitely gotten worse.I mean, you know, Caitlyn, when she started it, she.She actually graduated from a performing arts school in New York, New York City.So when she came out here, you know, she, her and her.Her now husband both had attended that school and they were doing really well within the industry, as I said.But I watched from that perspective.Obviously, I knew it from a different perspective.I knew from more of a screenwriting perspective and in understanding that from a writer, you know, more so than an actor.Although I have acted.I've actually got some IMDb credits for acting.I was typecast as a cop.Can't get that.But, you know, I, in, in being within that arena from that perspective, you could.I could already see, you know, things that were going on and what was happening.And.And again, your looks paid a lot into it, more so than your acting ability.You could be the best actor in the world.But, yeah, you know, you go to a cattle call and there's, you know, anywhere from 30, 40, 50 to 100 people trying to vie for the same position.I mean it.

And they all look like you.Like you walk in and it's like, oh, I guess I don't have a very unique look.There's everyone looks like me, Everybody looks like you.

And it is, that's Caitlin.That was Caitlyn's problem.She was blond haired, blue eyed and theoretically blonde hair, blue eyed.She has green eyes.But they go yes, no, yes, no, yes, no or no, no, no, no, yes.And it's that simple.And you know it.I think from coming from your perspective did that, I mean that obviously had to play a factor on top of everything else that you had just experienced.It has to play a factor on self esteem and your ability to function not only as an actor but as an adult.

Massively.I often think that I wish I had done this program like later in my life when I had the skills and tools that I have now, when I had some sort of knowing of who I was because I, like I said I was a baby, I was like 19 years old.I had no idea who I was yet.And I didn't understand how important it was to have that.I think that I would have been more successful now but also at the same time because of my sexual assault.And what I didn't mention is my parents were also going through a divorce at the time which was just rocking me on a, it was just compounding.And when I was in such personal turmoil, it weighed like an invisible weight on my back.And even just making the effort to like put myself out there, to submit to agents, to, to practice my monologues, to go out for these auditions, it felt like I was sludging through mud.It just felt like any effort that I needed, and you need to make effort, it is a hustle freelancing industry.Like you have to be putting yourself out there.And I just didn't even have the capacity to do that.My cup was overflowing with just personal things going on.And so that really was a wall I came up against upon graduation as well.So like come, come 20, I'm like 22 years old now and it feels impossible really.I just was so deeply unhappy, which.

Is unfortunate because you know, it, I think that this industry and I, I, I know people within this industry.So I, but I'm telling the truth.You know, unfortunately, this industry, without being rude, they, they use what they want and they spit the rest out.I mean it's kind of one of those things where it is an ever evolving machine that if you Contribute to it, to their needs.Once they're done with that, then, you know, you get put aside.It is very difficult.

Cutthroat.It's very.And it's a very high high.I'm gonna say this wrong.High.Right.You know what I'm trying to say.Thank you.It's very much a.A hierarchy type of industry as well.

It is.And.And, you know, I think that obviously the Me Too movement really opened the doors to a lot of sure things that were able to get changed.And there were some things that.That are still being changed because of that.And people still thinking they can get away with stuff that, you know, they're finding out that they can't.Which.From.From an individual as a human being, I appreciate that.As a father, I appreciate that.As a husband, I appreciate that.As an individual that.I mean, I.My.Both my kids were, you know, in the.From the time you were.Well, three and five, they danced.They went to dance freestyles.We took them through that whole mill where they danced up until the time they were about 15 years old.And then they kind of sound crazy, too.Oh, it is.Very much so.And then Caitlin got into more theater, and so then it was, you know, theater after theater after theater.And then when we moved here to Arizona, same thing.By that time, she was a young lady in high school, and just out of high school, she was auditioning at the.They've got.They've got a really good theater here that's actually a youth theater.

Nice.

That has produced.Well, Emma Stone came out of it.Emma Stone had entered this theater.So did.

That's so cool.

Oh, there's like three or four other.Off top of my head, I can't remember their names, but there's three or four others that literally that.My daughter auditioned with four plays at this theater down here.So it was very.It was very high profile.But the.Most people don't understand this.When you go to see a play or you go to see.When you sit down in front of the television and you're watching a TV show or if you're going to the movie that in order for that actor that's there, that they go through a process of.An immense process where they have to audition and then they have to possibly audition again and audition again.You have to put in for a cast.Help us understand that process a little bit.If somebody was going to go through that, so that.So they have a better understanding of what somebody like you coming out of school would go through every day.

Yeah.And well, there's two different types of worlds, really.There's the film and television world, and then there's also the theater world.So I was mainly involved with theater and with theater.When you go to an audition, typically.I mean, things might have changed because I graduated from my theater program in 2011, so.Oh, my gosh, just over a decade ago.But at the time.So a lot of the times when you go for a theater audition, you have to have something prepared in advance that is typically a monologue, maybe two.I was a classical theater actress, so a lot of the times I had to have one or two classical monologues as well as one or two contemporary monologues on the ready, ready to go at all times.As a theater actor.Like, even when you go into those auditions, they can ask you for more than one monologue.They can say to you, you know, that was.That was good.That was okay.Do you have anything else for us?Can you show us something else?So you want to always have something in your back pocket.Theater auditions are, you know, they're.They're scary.You're in person, you go in, there's usually a table with a couple of people there' the director, casting, maybe even the stage manager is there at the time.Choreographer, whoever it may be, they'll sit at the table, and you will stand there and present.I've actually been on that side of the table, and it was really interesting seeing it from that perspective, because you can read someone's energy as they come into that room.And to anyone who is an actor listening or you're thinking about acting, you start your audition, the moment you show up to that building, you are being watched.And how you interact with others, how you hold yourself, how you speak, you're being watched.And what I did notice is that people who came into the audition room ready to fail, ready to, like, just try and just have fun, they lit up when they were doing their monologues.Like, they just had this energy and this presence of, like, let's play, let's do this.And you can tell the ones who were really nervous, the ones who were stressing, the ones who really needed this part, you could tell because they're tighter, they stumble, they're less fluid, they're less free.You can read energies.Like, you can read the energy.And that was really interesting thing to.To learn and notice.And then with film and television, you have to do.Oftentimes they'll send you sides.And honestly, as a casting person myself, I cast in unscripted TV shows So I'm looking for real people, real personalities, humans.When you're auditioning for a movie or a scripted play, they'll send you sides, which is basically chunks of the script that they want you to see.And they'll sometimes send you like 11 PA pages or 10 pages.They'll send a stupid amount of.Of sides.And it's so disrespectful to the performer, in my opinion, because it.They, as a performer on that end, you want to do your best performance.So you look at the script, you try and memorize the script, you try and understand the character.You're setting your objectives, your intentions, your tactics.You're.You're doing script work that is actual, real work that takes time.And I know that from this side of the table, as a casting person, you know, if someone's got it within, like, the first page, page and a half, you don't need that much.I really disagree with how much actors are given in that.But yeah, you'll do a.Either you'll record your audition in person, or a lot of the time nowadays you'll send in a casting tape where you record it at home by yourself, and you.You set it in and then you wait.And sometimes you hear back, sometimes you don't.

It's a.It's a waiting game.

Oh, yeah, you're always waiting.

And of course, that.And that puts your stress level high because.Did I, didn't I?Did I?Did I?Did I, didn't I?

Why didn't I get it?Why not me?Was I.Did I do something wrong?Did I sue?Something bad?Like, was my performance.Performance off?Did I look not right?Like, there's the questions of, like, that can really consume you if you can't just, like, let it go and release it.

Well, plus, you have to have.Now, this may have changed.Nowadays we used to have like, a stack of headshots in resumes that you had, you know, pieced together and then make sure that everybody had one and it was up to date and the photo was up to date, and that was a constant battle in itself, trying to keep that stocked.Again, I think they do a little bit different now.Caitlin, what you just said, Caitlin was getting stuff where she would.They'd send her something and she'd video it at home, and then she'd send the video and.And then that was just much easier.Like, she said, it was much easier on her anyway because she didn't have to walk into that room with, you know, the, you know, 30 or 40 or 50 other people in there that looked just like her, she could just do it at her leisure and do what she needed to do, which I think is a nice evolvement of that.

Part of the industry.I just wish they would make the sides a little bit shorter.We don't need five, six pages.Like, give us a break or give the actors a break.

You know, as an individual that directed and casted plays and directed and cast commercials, and I directed and cast independent film.I agree.And you're right.You know who you want when they first, the first words that come out of their mouth, you'll know if they fit or if they don't fit.You'll know if they're going to be able to pull this off or if they're not going to be able to pull it off, or if you want.

To see more or not exactly you.

Want to see more, then get more pages.So anybody out there listening that are friends of mine that are still in the industry and doing this, you know, give them more after you say, yeah, I think they can do this now.Give them more.Yes.

Do that for the callback.Do that for.Do more for the callback.

Exactly.Exactly.How'd you get into.I know you traveled all these countries.Did you do that before you got into reality TV or did you get into reality TV after you got back?

Yeah, I got into reality tv.After I returned from my travels.I had, as you had introduced me, I had gone.I went and lived in Whistler for a couple of years.I did like the snowboard, ski bum life.Best two years of my life.22, 23, 24.Just like partying, kissing all the boys, snowboarding all day.I was just living.And from there I wasn't ready to grow up just yet.And so I ended up living in Australia, New Zealand, traveling all over Southeast Asia and just like filling myself with life and adventure and the way that I was able to afford all that, which is oftentimes what people are curious about, is I would go on working holiday visas.So I worked and lived in New Zealand, I worked and lived in Australia.And so I would travel from those home bases, but I'd be making money while I was going.So that allowed me the time to travel for as long as I. I did.

What a brilliant idea.That's a brilliant idea.

I highly recommend.I think everyone needs to live abroad at least once in their life.It is truly like the most incredible experience and such an incredible way to just know yourself, especially if you travel by yourself.When you meet, you don't have other people telling you what to do, who to be, where to go, how to spell.Spend your money.Like, any of that stuff.It's all you.You get to know yourself so well.But to answer your question, I was cater waitering my way through.Through these countries, which was great.Bartending, waitressing.I went to, like, amazing lavish weddings, serving hors d' oeuvres and stuff.But by the time I had come back to Canada, I had been waitressing for about 10 years at this point.And I just took that off the table.I was like, I'm not doing this anymore.That's not even a plan.B, C, D, or E. Figure out something else.

Well, that's way in advance.B, C, D, or E. Yeah.

I was like, it's not happening.It's not a choice anymore.I just couldn't do it anymore.I could not waitress for another day.And so I just stay.When I came home, I was staying with my mom, and I had money in my bank still, so I had some freedom and time to look around at what I wanted to do next.I had no idea.I had literally no idea.I'd been trying to be a travel blogger.That was not working out for me.But I had all these connections in the industry.I had a lot of friends that were still hustling, still out there.And I was dating someone who was best friends with two executive producers of television shows such as.Oh, my gosh, what's the show called?Race.

The Amazing Race.

The Amazing Race.Thank you.And they were just starting up their own company and was like, well, while you're figuring out what you want to do, why don't you come production assist on our sets?Which, to anyone who is unfamiliar with the industry, production assisting is like the ground level where you enter into this industry.It is not glamorous at all.You're running around getting coffees, and just.You're like the helping hand wherever help is needed.You couldn't pay me enough money, I think, to go back to production assisting.But at the time, I was hungry, I was eager, I was excited.And I remember having those first couple of days on their sets and just being like, whoa, this is so cool.There's free food.There is.You know, I get to be on my feet, moving around.No one's like, I wasn't as stressed as I was as a waiter.And I felt like I was in this exciting industry.And from there, I was like, this.This is it.This is my answer.And I just started submitting myself for everything there is Here in Canada, we use a Facebook group called I Need a Fixer Producer.I think that's all it is for Toronto.And so people post job postings and I would just sit at my computer and every five minutes I was refreshing this page because a lot of the times when you're starting out as a production assistant, it's more like who's the first to apply to and not necessarily who's the best candidate.Because really, anyone can do this.If you're keen and hungry and you're willing to work 15 hours a day, which I was for like $150, $150 a day for.They can keep you as long as they.They want.There was no regulations at that time, and that's what I did.And slowly I started working my way up in this industry.I started as a production assistant, then I moved to a driver.Then I started as a casting coordinator, which was exactly the direction I wanted to go in.And for those who, again, are unfamiliar, a cast coordinator in reality television is someone who works directly with the competitors and on screen people, and you are their support person while they're there for the process.I'm not there to produce them in any way, but rather take care of them while in this insane new environment that they're completely unfamiliar with, which I loved for a really long time until 2020, when it destroyed my life.Not destroyed my life, but destroyed all of my mental health at that period of time.Like I think a lot of experience.People experience during COVID Well, and it.

Was a very unfortunate time, that whole arena 2020, all the way through, oh my gosh, to the beginning of this year.It's really affected a lot of people, you know, worldwide, you know, and I'm sure the.What you were doing within that industry up there, because a lot of.And people may hear, may not understand this.I do understand this.There's a lot of American companies that go up there to film.There's not just Canadian shows that come out.And I know Canada subsidizes the film and television industry up in Canada as well.Do they still do that?I don't give grants and things like that.

Oh, yeah, absolutely.Yeah.

Yeah.I know that they.From subsidization from.From the production perspective, in other words, to get stuff, you know, done.We were always told when I was going through school, if you.You really get involved or try to go up to Canada, get involved with that and get involved with Canadian, you know, production company and hire there and film there, that you could.You get Money from the government.

Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.Money from the government side of it.But I do believe you're right.

And money from the government's always good.

Oh, money from the other government's great.

But I know, I know there's a lot of Hollywood productions that do go to Canada, take the cast up to Canada and that's where they shoot and they.Whether it's film or tv, a lot of American television programs are shot up in Canada.

Yeah, I think that's what a lot of Vancouver is.I mean, Vancouver is really big for that.Toronto.I think we shoot a lot of stuff for ourselves in Toronto.I'm not in scripted tv.I'm solely in the unscripted and unscripted.But these days.But I think, yeah, a lot of the scripted American stuff is Vancouver a lot of the time.

So if I ask you a couple questions, would you have to kill me if you told me the answer?

I guess it depends on the question.

So.I've always wondered about this.Right?Yeah.You watch unscripted tv.Unscripted TV for everybody is different.Like a sitcom or a drama.Unscripted TV is something like the Amazing Race or it's Big Brother or, you know, the reality TV Bachelor, since everybody's so fascinated with the Bachelor and the Bachelorette.That's unscripted tv, theoretically, right?The difference between scripted and unscripted.Do you guys lay out what you want to happen?Do you lay out, like the scenarios?Do you put them in that scenario?Or is this.Is this completely free will?Here you go.Let's see what comes out of it.

So I will speak from my experience.I work in competition based unscripted shows such as Top Chef, Big Brother.They're competition, so they're not a personality reality show like Jersey Shore, you know, like those.Or like those Real Housewives.So I don't know how those ones operate, but for competition shows, they'll plan in advance.Like, what.What's the competition?Like, what is the challenge?What is.Yeah, like what's the challenge that they're going to face, but how they're going to manage their way through that?Who's going to be eliminated?It really is on their own unfolding in front of us, which is why it so much the environment, at least here in Canada and on the sets that I've worked with behind the scenes, we get as invested in the competition as the viewers do, and we are just getting to see it in like real, real time.And like I.So my job as the cast cord, when I'M cast coordinating or cast producing.When someone's eliminated, it's my, my role to care for them after that and, you know, book their flights and get them home and make sure that they have all the receipts and all that kind of stuff.I don't.I have literally no idea what's next.Like, I stand by that exit waiting for whoever is going to be eliminated to come out that door.There's really no.There's.At least in my experience, there is no, like, oh, we're, we're going to plan for this.

You know, I mean, I appreciate that from that perspective.I think that, that it would be a fascinating job because being at the front seat, basically you're in the front row and looking right up on the stage from that perspective.

So fun.It's so fun to be in the wings and we develop relationships with these people.Everyone gets invested in this.We're spending hours of our days building these challenges, tearing them down, watching them, and we get invested just like any viewer does on who's going to win or not.We don't get any say, like, we genuinely don't.So, yeah, I do respect that.And honestly, I would.There's not a single show that I've worked on that I would not encourage someone to apply for.Like, if you're a top level chef, go for it.I would warn you that it's long days and, you know, you're going to be asked to talk about your feelings, which not everyone loves, but you're going to have.Yes.Like, you.Those are kind of things that I would warn people, but I have not worked on one set where I'm like, I would never submit myself to that because I don't trust how they would edit it or, or, you know, I've never been in that kind of experience.We don't need to fabricate things in competition series.The.The show is the competition.I don't need.I don't need to manipulate you to be someone you're not.Your humanness is going to be entertaining in a competition, period.

But the real question is, who gets to eat all that food?

Oh, honestly, working on cooking shows is truly the best.Before COVID Before COVID I worked on, like, the great Canadian baking show and those kinds of things.And I know in past people, you know, people on site get to eat the food afterwards.You get to try it on some of the shows.Because these top cooking shows, like, they're top chefs, they're, they're high in their class, so they need the best ingredients, which Only stay fresh for so long.So we would do, like, little bodegas every, like, couple of days where they would put, like, lamb shakes and steaks and, like, top ingredients.And the crew can just go in and go basically grocery shopping free of charge and take something home.And that was just such a.That was a really amazing treat, too, Working on in those.

Yeah, that'd be cool.That would definitely be cool.That'd be cool.They'd have to pull me out.Okay, we're closing up.We're shutting the door.You need to get out of this.

Kitchen, go home, and cook some food.

Like, I'm not done yet.That's funny.Well, let's talk about how I know that your life changed dramatically.I know you talked about the.In 2020 and the COVID stuff.What, you know, you're.You have developed, or I won't say developed.You've kind of reinvented a portion of your life where you now reach out to help other individuals and that are struggling or need a helping hand or need to move their life forward and so forth.How'd you get.How'd you come to that?How'd you get involved with.With what you're doing now as a life coach?

So in 2020, when the pandemic hit, I had just received, like, this was maybe a month before everything shut down.I received a really exciting job opportunity for me.I was going to be the senior coordinator on a show with a new company, and I would be running the cast all of my.All by myself, which was the first.Typically, I had had a senior coordinator that I.That I had responded to, but this time it was going to be all me.And I felt ready to take on this challenge.I felt excited, excited about it.The show has a cast of 150 people.

Wow.

150.And it's an episodic series, meaning there's different cast every.Every episode.And before COVID I felt very capable of managing everything that was expected of me, and I was doing great.Then Covid got really ramped up, and we had to pause on production.At this point in time, we had our full cast.I had collected all of the production agreements and done the background checks and gotten all the photo releases and done all this work for 150 people.And then we put a pause, and we hoped that by delaying production, it would be easier to film when we came back.But.But as a lot of, you know, Covid did not go away nearly as quickly as we wanted or desired it to.And here in Canada, we were locked down.Like, we were very, very locked down.But film and tv, we were allowed to keep going as long as we followed certain regulations.So when we came back, my job was 10 times harder.And I still was so eager to demonstrate how capable I was and how good at my job I could be, that as the workload continued to grow and the responsibilities continued to grow, I just continued to say yes to everything, thinking that someone else would be able to say yes, so I should be able to say yes.And I just have to deal with it.And, like, I can't even tell you.Like, everything that could go wrong went wrong.Like, we lost a lot of cast members.We had to recast, which meant I needed to redo my work over and over again.I think by the end of the show, we had lost at least 150 cast members and recasted 150, 50 cast members.So that's double the workload period.

Smokes.

The flights, if you can recall, were just getting canceled left, right and center.So me, I ended up getting a co worker.We hired a fellow coordinator to work alongside me and I purely had him on flights and travel memos.And that booking we had.Half of our cast members were coming from the States, which you couldn't even travel to Canada at that period of time.So I was also now working with a lawyer during doing, like, work visas for these cast members, arranging quarantine.How am I going to feed and care for these people while they're in a hotel in quarantine while we're, while we're recording over here?I had people pre testing and flying in, filming, leaving, like, I was fully expanded.And I began waking up every morning with so much stress and anxiety that I was vomiting like clockwork at 6am that's how I started my day.And I started self medicating with marijuana.I was crying at my desk, which I had to wear a shield and two masks while looking at two screens.And my office became this place of chaos.They called it the crisis center.And people actively avoided it because the stress that was happening inside my space was so palpable.And people would come up to me at the studio and go, you have the hardest job.How are you doing this?And I would just, I go, I don't know.There were parts.There was one time I had to send this email out with tattoos on television, they're trademarked.There's, there's rights to tattoo work.And you have to get.Really, you have to get copyright.Yeah, you have to get copyright signatures.For it.And I had to send out an email basically telling people, if you have tattoos, please ensure that you wear long sleeve so that we didn't have to do all this pile of paperwork.And I sent that email.It was like a b. BCC Email that I sent out to everyone.And the amount of anger that came into my inbox, just people losing it, like.Like that I was hiding who they truly were or shaming them for tattoos or whatever it may be.The anger that I got back was so overwhelming that I went to.I might cry.I went to a bathroom at work, and I fell to the ground, and I just started crying, and I. I was so overwhelmed with stress that I couldn't function or think in that moment.And I. I almost called 911 for myself because I. I can't even tell you how low I was.Like, the stress was just so overwhelming.

I was there for a lot of negativity, lot of.

Lot of Teddy.But also just, like, wanting so badly to do the good job that I knew that I was fully capable of doing and thinking that if I can't do it, if I can't figure this out, if I can't do it all on my own, that means I'm a failure and I am not smart and I'm unworthy of being here, and I'll never get a job.Like, it felt like I was between a rock and a hard place.I remember going home to my roommate that night.I didn't end up calling 911.I ended up screaming in a friend's car for a little bit and then going back to my desk.But I remember going home to my roommate and being like, when do I get to say no?When do I get to say that it's enough?Like, when can I say no?I can't take on any more work.No, I can't do that.No, you have to give that to someone else.Like, I just.I had no idea how to care for myself, how to set boundaries.I felt like everything was my fault.If I fail, it's my fault.If I can't figure this out, it's my fault.And I will just.I don't.I just.I remember hoping that the show would just end and.And I could just go back.Like, once the show ends, my stress will be gone.I won't.I won't suffer anymore.And.And I could see that light, and I just push through.And that was the wrong choice.If I could do it all again, I would quit.I would have quit for sure.

Well, I'M sure it probably, I mean there were so many, many things that you were able to put aside or push back or to overcome before you traveled, for example, that had happened in your life that you know, I'm sure a lot of that came flooding back within.Within an arena as well.So it probably compounded your feelings in.They were valid feelings.You know, this environment puts you in a situation that was detrimental to your mental health and your well being majorly and in from that perspective, you know, it.It's something that the industry or that company, I would say the industry overall because they really again understanding the industry, they really don't care.Just pull your boots up, stand up in and push on is the attitude.You know, you got a job to do, do your job.So I think that's like the arts,.

The creative arts too.Like that's the messaging I received as an artist.Like the show must go on.

Show must go on.Exactly.

No matter what, the show must go on.I like I've gone, I've done a show and then gone to the hospital like.Like I was that person that was like I don't quit quit.Which I think played into me continuing.

To push through this and to not quit because then you feel like a failure and unfortunately that you know that in itself nobody likes to feel that way.Nobody wants to feel like they're a failure.

But I think quitting did not seem like an option at all.

Well, and that's unfortunate within an industry because they should have the option for be able to be able to see what is transpiring.I think that's why there's so many people within the entertainment industry then unfortunately go down the drugs and alcohol way and because they're trying to escape that pressure.

I was self medicating with marijuana at the time.Like that was the only way that I could possibly relax if even just for a second at nighttime.

Of course the kind of functions.Yeah that type of industry, any type of the entertainment industry, whether it be reality TV or the standard TV and film or theater, unfortunately always and I think will always have that pressure on them because of course you've got the money guys at the top that are going, you know, I'm not losing any money, you know.And people don't understand that every time you do another take or you hire another cast member, that's more money off the budget kind of thing.

There's a literal job on set.They're called a first ad.And they count the, the minutes and the seconds.

Yes.

Like every second counts every Second, including takes.Yes.

I mean, is that.It's down to that.Take two cost more money.Take three costs more money.Take four costs more money.You have to take a break because somebody's stressed out.Cost more money.You didn't get from point A to point B quick enough.Cost more money.So you know that within itself, within an industry, unfortunately, is the dissolution, disillusionment.Can I say that?Right.There's where the disillusionment comes in.And, and I think that, you know, we, those individuals that are sitting here watching the TV show, whichever one it happens to be, watching the film, watching the theater, don't understand that portion of it.What they get is the end result of people's blood, sweat and tears, literally, blood, sweat and tears.And they don't understand what takes place behind that.The mental anguish, the mental pressure, the physical pressure, everything that comes along with it.So, yeah, I mean, I understand why you would self medicate with marijuana and I understand why others self medicate with alcohol, with drugs.But what you see within an industry is they've created an environment that perpetuates within itself because, and I don't mean this in your case, but you're replaceable totally.If you can't handle this job or you can't handle what I'm telling you to do, I'll find somebody that will.

Yes.

Why?So if you're within it and you're working it, it's going to be.If I don't keep up, I'm out of a job.And then that industry, as large as it is, is still a small family.

Oh yeah.Getting blacklisted.

Exactly.

Those people telling their friends, oh, don't hire them.

Exactly.

Oh yeah, that's a scary part of the industry too, for sure.

So it's.Yeah, I understand your anguish within that regard, but you eventually came to a point where you went back to school and decided to kind of change your direction, give new purpose to your life.And from our conversations and from the time that I've met you, I think that you've picked something that maybe it picked you.

I believe that it did, as cheesy as that is.My father's a social worker, so I kind of grew up around talk therapy and just I've been in and out of therapy multiple times in my life when I was being bullied, you know, after my sexual assault under my parents divorce, like I did go to therapy, I did do all of this processing.And I love therapy.Like I've always loved therapy.I've always thought it was really great and a useful tool for a lot of people.So when I, I thought that I knew about mental health, I thought I knew how to care for my, my mental wellness.I thought I knew how to navigate this world and I thought I was doing a pretty good job at it.And so when I had assumed that when this job on the show, I had been so stressed for so long, I just thought once the show ends, all that stress will go away and I will get to be my happy, go, lucky free self again.I did not know anything about stress.And so what ended up happening was the show ended and my stress didn't.My new baseline was this very high vibrational, anxious, depressive state and I couldn't move from it.I was unable to get out of bed crying.I had to go on antidepressants for a period of time.I was working with a coach.I was trying my hardest and I was just unwell.And I realized that I didn't know any, anything about how to navigate the high stress industries in which I was working with or how to care for my, well, mental well being.And I became extremely interested and invested in learning more.And that started with me taking a couple of leadership courses, stress management courses, things that I could find, reading the self help books.And the more more I learned, the more hungry I got for this knowledge.And I was working on a TV show.I was working.Do you have a question?

Nope.

Oh, okay.And I was working on another show at the time.It's called Best in Miniatures.We were doing season one.It's a, it's a competition show about miniature artists.They make miniature objects.And I had something going on.It had nothing to do with the show, but because I've been working so much, you know, you're, you, you pour so much into it.You're, you're exhausted, you're tired.And I had a panic attack in a bathroom on set.And my, my boss at the time had to come in and, and sit there with me.And then I got to go home.And I remember just being like, this is not it.Life does not, this should not feel like this.This is not okay.This is not how I want to exist.And I wanted to figure out a way to not only help myself, but help other people in this industry navigate the high stress, high demand freelancer life here.And when I found life coaching, this light went off inside of me where it felt so deeply connected to everything that I had been wanting for myself.I had been wanting a career that, that was going to be my Own, like my own business.I just didn't know what that was going to look like.I wanted the freedom to work from anywhere.I wanted the ability to connect and speak with people regularly, and I wanted to help people.And so this path of, of being able to continue to learn mental wellness skills and techniques not only for my own benefit, but to benefit others and to be able to create my own career really excited me.So I dove to headfirst into this, like, I mean, this light bulb went off so quickly that I completely moved two hours out of the city.I enrolled in a diploma program at Wellness College for their life coach diploma program.And I went full speed ahead.And I still work in film and television, as my bio says.And not only has my.Let me go back here for a second.I have now completed my diploma in coaching and I still work in film and television.And having been in the industry before, what I know now and now continuing with the knowledge that I have, my experience on set is completely different.Like, I mean, every show that I worked on before I learned what I got my diploma, I cried at least once on every show, like I was getting activated like that.And now I've done multiple shows, I've received promotions.I am now a field producer and story producer.So I'm interviewing people on these shows.And I don't feel even close to the level of stress that I did beforehand.I don't even, I won't even.I, I don't allow myself to go there.But when I do, if I do, I know the skills and tools and the people that I can reach out to, and I'm really passionate.You know, as you were talking earlier, you were mentioning how you are familiar with how stressful this industry can be.And I think a lot of that falls in the generational trauma of this industry.There's so many things that are still in place today that don't need to be because people have this narrative of, I suffered, so you too must suffer.And I also don't think that many of these people have done the mental health training or understand stress or understand how to care for themselves.And so when we enter these streets, stressful environments and people are snappy and mean and rude to each other, it is just fueling the stress of these environments.Like you can feel it in these spaces.It's, it's, it's palpable.And I just think that if more people knew the dangers of stress and how to manage it, how to care for themselves, how to love themselves in these industries, that these Sets could be a lot more positive than they are currently.I don't think film and TV needs to be as negative as.As toxic as it is.If we just learned the tools to love ourselves, care for ourselves, and manage.

Our stress, that's brilliant, actually.You know, realistically, people get into film and television in theater because they love entertaining, they love creating, they love sharing that creativity.They love.They love doing what they're doing.They love being an actor, they love being a producer, they love being a director.But the industry perpetuates that you have to fall within this mold.Unfortunately, that states you will be this.You will be the angry old man that's going to yell and scream and holler at people.Why?Because that's what happened to me when I was coming up in the industry.

Like you just said, that's how I was treated.So I will treat you because that's my example of a leader.That's how I've been taught to lead.

Exactly.And I think that things are beginning to change and evolve.

I agree.

You can see some changes.I know that when the last few things that Caitlin had done, she worked through Covid as well.And the protocols that they put in place here, I'm sure, were the same or similar up to that.They were up in Canada.They went on a set, they.They literally bussed them.They had all to go through a COVID test.They busted them to.Basically, they busted to a hotel, and then everybody had to be locked in their room, basically.They ordered meals, were delivered to the room, and then you had to go down in.In whatever your number was called, you had to go down.Well, you see my hands moving around.You can't see my hand.You would go downstairs, you would get your COVID test, and then you would go right immediately back upstairs.And then you'd wait.And if your poverty came back negative, then the next morning you were on the bus to go to set.When you got to set, you specifically did your thing.You were sequestered.It wasn't a lot of mingling.If you went there with the same group of people you went on the bus with, is they had you roped off in an area where that's where you stayed.And, you know, I think it evolved some things because she said that she did something afterwards, that the process was repeated, but without the COVID portion of it.And she thought that, at least from her perspective, she thought that maybe they found a unique way of keeping people in, moving them in without having to.I don't even know if I'm saying this even correctly, so I'll probably just.

Like they created like a bubble.

Like, they created it like.That's a good word.They created a bubble to keep everybody within one area, one specific action, and all together so that you couldn't mingle around, you couldn't be talking to other people, you couldn't be cohorting.Cohorting?Yes, I have a master's degree cohorting with other individuals.Right.So, you know, you couldn't talk to anybody else.So if there was any kind of dissension within.Within the set or within the area, you didn't kind of know about it, you know, from that.

And it's also very isolating.Like where.

Isolating.That's a good word.

It's, it's.It's, you know, it's like going to work and you're not allowed to.To play with your friends.Like, you had to exactly stay so disconnected from people, which is also just so lonely.That didn't help on set either.

Well, you're supposed to be.You're supposed to be having fun.What you're doing.You're supposed to be having fun, you know, and unfortunately, I think.I think, you know, bring back the Me Too movement again, only because I think that it at least changed some of the culture within that environment and that.And within that industry that, you know, you weren't put into positions where you had to fear others or people had to start watching what they said and people had to be careful how they acted around other people and they had to start acting like a human being instead of.I'll just do it nicely.A butt head, you know.So I think from that perspective, it's a positive change.I know that they still need to continue making.Making changes to make the industry more palpable to individuals coming in and the people who are working in it presently.I don't know.The writer strike.You guys on strike up there?

The writer strike is affecting us here in Canada, but unscripted shows are not operating.

Yeah.

And so we're still able to operate because we don't have scripts or paid actors.Right.Like it's.Right, it doesn't affect us.

So that helps.Yeah, that and including the actors portion of it, because that helps.I'm assuming the screen actors goes also in the after is possibly affecting ACTRA here.

But yes, it's the same thing.Just the Canadian version.

Yeah.

So it's all happening.But I think it's good.I think that these industries, like creators are playing playful people.We we want to create because we have something we want to share and play or a message.We're not saving lives.Like.Like, I remember, like, looking back on that show being like, wow, I did.I put myself in such a hole for a TV show that was not even about, like, anything phenomenal.It was like a cooking show.Like, I did that for a cooking show.Like, step back.It's amazing how when you're stressed, like, everything can feel like it's imploding on you.And it's so close.But this is supposed to be fun, and the money and the stress is just that something needs to change.And I think the change is possible because I have changed in myself, in my ability to show up in this industry.Like, the industry didn't change.Something inside of me changed.The way I'm able to use these tools and how I see myself now because of my work with a coach myself, I work as a coach myself.I see a coach regularly, bi weekly, because I'm an imperfect human, too.I struggle just like everybody else.But having someone who can reflect and support you as you try and navigate this world, that is just stressful, period.Makes an incredible difference.

Well, in stress, no matter which industry you're in, no matter what you do, stress is a killer.It will cause you to have cardiovascular issues.It will cause you to have lung issues.It will cause you to have migraines and headaches and, you know, cancers.In my opinion, I think that stress can perpetuate cancer and help it to grow because.Because it thrives upon that stress and the adrenaline that's running through your body trying to take those and other diseases as well.I managed my.As we talked as a cop, I was under that stress constantly.And I didn't recognize that until I was out of the job.For a while.I didn't recognize that, and I actually thrived on a portion of it.I thrived on the adrenaline rushes.I thrived on the stress, which, again, was not healthy for me.I think I joked on the show with you how I still have my hair and it's still dark.Most of my friends or colleagues, they're either bald or they're full white hair, full gray hair.They're full of wrinkles, and they're full of stress.Stress has an adverse effect on us as a human being.And with my disease, if I get angry or I get stressed, I flare.And when I flare, I'm in pain.When I'm in pain, my inflammation markers go way up.Those inflammation markers are hard on my heart.They're hard on my lungs, they're hard on my body kind of a situation.So finding the tools necessary to be able to control that, no matter what industry you're in, you know, the tools in place, I'm sure, are a benefit.And those are things that you put into practice on a regular basis in order to help manage your life, as well as counting on those tools be given to you by others.So let's talk about how you provide for other people those same kind of tools.Can we.

So I coach within my business Coach by Jess, where I work with clients one on one.I work with creatives and those who work, work in film and television, theater, actors, dancers, any kind of creative industry.Those are the people that I work with.And I help you manage the stress and the instability of this industry.And I also do, I do presentations.I use my background as an actor and curate presentations for companies to help them enhance stress management and leadership techniques within their company.And I have my, my podcast where I talk to people like Michael about their journeys and their life and, and how they navigated change and transformation so that hopefully you listening to the podcast can relate to something that they're experiencing and find courage and motivation to keep pushing forward in whatever change or transformation you yourself are, are trying to navigate.

That's brilliant.You have many, many tools available and they're available on your website, which is.

What, coachedbyjess.com or you can find me on Instagram at Coached by Jess.And all my links are, are there.So just click, go to one of those two places and you will definitely be connected to me.

And I'll make sure that that's all in the show notes as well, so that people can find you really, really easily.There's your Instagram at the bottom, bottom of the screen as well.So people get in touch with you.This has been like a wonderful conversation.I could probably talk to you for another hour.

I really think so.

You know it, it's it.And again, I stress this.I know that you work a lot.You work primarily with people within the creative industry, which I think you're fulfilling a niche that needs to be filled.You are filling a need that needs to be there.Because I know the stress that, that involved.That is involved, whether you're an actor, a dancer, you know, you're working in the film, the television, the theater aspect of it.If you're working on production crew, above the line.Anybody out there who's listening to this is within the entertainment industry.You know what above the line is below the line is you could all use help from Jess because I think that, you know, you provide something that gives us the ability or the opportunity to come back and enjoy what we're doing instead of stressing about what we're doing.

Yeah.Thank you, Michael.I appreciate that.I hope that if anything, if you are in one of these industries and you're feeling like you're just running on stress, that it doesn't need to be that way.You can be very successful in this high demand industry and not be burnt out.And I can show you how because I've done it myself.

And that's the training.Exactly.You've got personal experience and you've done it yourself.And you know, anybody that's watching this video, if you're just listening, please watch the video because you're going to see that she exudes positivity at the moment.So yes, it works.

It does, it does really work.

It does, it does.So anyway, thank you very much for coming on the show.I really appreciate it.I, I, this is one more thing before you go.So do you have any words of wisdom before we go that you might share?

I think the words of wisdom I would give is that you're worthy and capable just as you are.Like you're not.There's nothing wrong with you.This world and this system was built for a specific person many, many years ago.And if you're struggling to fit into it or, or manage the expectations of others, it doesn't have to feel that hard.It doesn't have to feel like you're constantly paddling upstream.And there is a way to feel good in this world and seek mental health support.There's nothing to be ashamed of.It is a tremendous tool that is available for free.You can watch videos or you can hire someone like me to personally guide you as you find the tools that are going to work for you as you navigate this world and seen.

Brilliant, brilliant words of wisdom.I know that I think I had seen some tools and some things they could fill in on your website that they can reach out and get some help.

Yep, I have a booking system right on in there.I offer, I insist that every new client does a free 30 minute call with me.You don't have to use the full 30 minutes, but it's really important that we are in alignment.So everyone just starts with a free conversation just to see if we're the right fit for each other.

And that works.I'll make sure that everybody has a way to get to you.And again, I really appreciate you.Thank you very much for being on the show.

Thanks, Michael.

Thank you.And for all of you out there, please, one More Thing before you go.Have a great day.Have a great week.And thank you for listening.Thank you.Thanks for listening to this episode of One More Thing before you go.Check out our website at beforeyougopodcast.Com.

You can find us as well as subscribe to the program and rate us on your favorite podcast listening platform.