The Courage to Reinvent: Discovering Your True Identity with Bobbi Barrington

Hey, one more thing before you go. There are moments in life when the world asks us a question, A question we can't ignore no matter how long we've tried.A question that whispers, then nudges, and then finally demands. Are you living the life that was meant for you or the one that you were taught to survive? Some people never answer question.Some are too afraid to ask it. And then there are those rare few who decide, even after decades of living someone else's story, to rewrite their own.Today, conversation is about one of those rare few. It's about courage. It's about truth. It's about the kind of reinvention that doesn't just change your life, it reveals who you always were.Stay with me because what we are about to hear is a masterclass in courage, curiosity, in the art of becoming. I'm your host, Michael Hurst. Welcome to one more thing before you go, I guess.Today is Bobby Barrington, a speaker, storyteller, and a transformational coach who has lived one of the most extraordinary reinvention journeys I've ever encountered. 40 years in the wrong career, 59 years in the wrong body. Until one day, she chose herself. Bobbi's lived as both a man and a woman.She's seen the world from both sides. She has walked through fear, loss, reinvention, and found freedom on the other side.She's lived decades in Australia, 25 years in London in a lifetime of travel that gave her a deep love of history, culture, and the human experience. But what excites her the most isn't what she's done. It's how endlessly fascinating the world still is.

We're exploring the intersection of identity, history, travel, and personal growth and why curiosity might just be the greatest adventure of all. Bobby, welcome to the show.

Hey, Michael, what a pleasure. So glad to meet you. And I'm really excited about this conversation we're about to have.

I am as well. You've had a journey in your life that as many, many others have tried, many, many others have accomplished and many, many others hope to be.So I appreciate you being on the show. We hope to motivate, inspire and educate.

Well, I'm speaking from Queensland, Australia this morning. It's nine o' clock in the morning and it's a beautiful day and it's like middle of summer here. So it yard up it is.

I'm almost there. It's Phoenix. It's cold, believe it or not, in Phoenix because it's winter here. So it's on the opposite side. So this is this Is brilliant.This is brilliant. Speaking of that, you've lived across continents. Australia now London, and everywhere else in between. Tell me where you grew up.Start at the beginning.

I'm Australian.I also have a UK citizenship because I lived there for 25 years and I was married to my ex who was also British and my children are all dual nationality. But I was a bit disappointed with Brexit because I really feel very European. And there are two places in the world that I feel drawn to live.One is right here in Australia by the beach in the energy of this location. And the other is France and I'm very French. I love, I love my French and I speak French. And one of my great ambitions is to.Is to give a keynote speech in French in France. And that was something that I will make happen. But I've traveled so much, backpacked, hitchhiked, been around the world a few times.I'm just like so curious. And I just love how it opens your mind to rules and beliefs about how you think life is meant to be led.And then you discover, oh my God, they do it a different way here. How can that be? And it's just so liberating, I find. Yeah. But I also feel that we can travel just by going next door.Because next door is someone who lives with a different mindset, a different culture, a different worldview. And to recognize that and be open to those kinds of conversations, I find very expansive also.

Yeah, I appreciate that very much. I think that I should have started the bourgeois Salah, Madam. Petite Francois, just a little what has traveled.You talk about travel, you travel everywhere, you backpacked, and what you see is that commonality, but that closeness also.Has travel taught you anything about people, culture and yourself that has really changed your perspective for a positive or for a negative or maybe opened your eyes in a different way?

Oh, very much so. You know, like a sense of letting go of how the world is supposed to be.You know, the rules about how we are supposed to live and discover that there are people who, like ourselves, bleed when cut, love their children and dream of a better future. And we're all humans and we just live in different cultures, different environments. And it's.And there's neither right nor wrong, it's just different.And being open minded enough to accept that truth is so freeing, you know, and I feel like unconstrained by the need, need to be attached to how things have to be in travel. And you know, there's like, travel is not always fun actually, and stuff happens that is stressful. And challenging and tiring.But I never regret having been having gone there, having done it. I love the growth that I've had through it. Even though sometimes it's not like, well.

We can find that. I think we can find that in life itself. I mean, life itself gives us the same thing. We don't have to travel anywhere to.When you have that experience, you know, I'll be understanding going to a different society, a different culture, a different, you know, a different land, you know, those kind of obstacles would run into us. But life itself sometimes gives us that. It's, I guess how we, how we choose to manage that obstacle or that bump in the road.

Oh, a hundred percent choice, you know, like, like travel.Travel is like great big mirror in your face and it asks you questions about who you are, what's happening, what meaning did I give it and what choice am I going to make now, you know, and, but, but that's the same as, like every day of my life, you know, I still have these mirror, these opportunities to question how I show up, how I respond, the choices I'm making.You know, like, like even right here, right now, you know, we are always having choices on the outcome we want to create, the impact we want to make, the leadership we want to show in the world. You know, like there's a lot of the world that is like lowest common denominator.And I love that there are opportunities for those of us who choose to show up as a highest common denominator to elevate, to raise the bar, you know, to live authentic, truthful lives through choice, through decision, and through awareness. Awareness is the key to all of this. Awareness, commitment, choice.

Yeah, I agree with that. I agree with that. Was there a moment in, in your travelers when you realized the world was shaping you just as much as you were exploring it?Because it sounds like, like what you just said, you, you could recognize the low denominator, the high denominator. Did that change you?

Oh, 100, of course, yes. Like, let, let me, I have a few examples.Like, I grew up in Adelaide in South Australia and I went to a private school and I lived in, you know, a nice suburb. And my father was the general manager of an insurance company.And so I was in a culture which was quite conservative, if you like, and I went to a school that was quite conservative, you know, fee paying school.And I had no idea that I lived in this bubble of conservatism, you know, And I was unaware, like when I read the paper, so the newspaper, there are only two news you know, daily newspapers. And I thought that was truth. Okay? So as a metaphor for my life, I thought that was. That was life. That was truth.And then I went and lived in London and London for a long time and was exposed to so many different truths.So, you know, running with that metaphor, all of those broadsheet newspapers of different political persuasions and editorial policies and stuff, and I had no idea that that existed.And through that awareness, I was able to grow me and to shape me to a truth that conformed with my worldview, how I saw the world, how I wanted to show up in the world. I think this is a really interesting metaphor for all of travel, in that it shows you these different choice points.And my politics has never been the same, but. But politics was just one aspect of my whole life, which I have shifted.I've now changed, and gender is one of them and mindset is one of them, and the physical things about my life and my reality and where I live and who I hang out with, and it just has been such a. An extraordinary growth, especially in these last four years since I started with my current coach, where everything has just exploded for me.

Do you find.If I can delve into this just a little bit, do you find that, like, here in the United States, things have backtracked a little bit with all aspects of transgender lgbtq? The politics in regard to that, with.We don't need to go deep into the politics side of it, but do you feel that happening across the world where that. That it affects your lifestyle or your being of who you are now? I mean, is there something that.Do you have to make adjustments because of that across anywhere in your travels?

Yes.The unfortunate side effect of what's happening in the US and in the UK at the moment and in certain parts of Eastern Europe, for example, weaponizes the narrative against diversity, which is more okay for people to have worldviews that exclude people like me.And I feel like part of what I do, because I am very public out there, people don't know because of how I look and show up and pass and all that stuff.But online, I am really quite political about this and overt about, because people like me just like 1% of the population sort of thing, that means there are 99 people out there who have little experience and little knowledge about what is being told to them.And I feel that I have a role to explain, to educate, to communicate, to, you know, like, to create connection and understanding, you know, And I do this despite the fact that I get the haters despite the fact that I get people who deny my right to have the identity that I have for all kinds of reasons. You know, and like, this is what I was saying earlier about travel, open mind, that someone else can have a different experience about life.I want people to open their minds and understand that my experience of life is different and legitimate. And I speak for others who haven't got voices to speak.

And I agree with that. I think it's a travesty what is taking place.And I think people, again, I think people need to understand that we're all human beings and that we're all people. We all are who we are and that they should be left alone. But that's what we're here for. We hope they're here to educate people.We're here to let people understand more about us as human beings and who we are and why we are who we are. But curiosity seems to kind of guide you in your life. When did you realize curiosity wasn't a trait, but a compassion?I mean, what you're telling me is that it's kind of your compass now. You do what you need to do.You go where it's pointing to tell you to educate people and to give people support and to give them the strength to understand that they're not alone.

That's a lovely thing to say. I didn't have this. Well, not my lived life.So earlier you said I was 40 years in the wrong career, and that was 40 years of people pleasing and doing so. I trained as an accountant, and I am so not an accountant. I was the world's worst accountant.But for me, the professional life that I have was one around control and to create safety for myself. Because I grew up with an alcoholic father in an emotionally difficult household.And I found safety through hiding, suppressing myself, not, you know, speaking out or being seen or heard. And that. That was for me, right through into my 50s, really, because I'm 66 now.

And.

It was only since I transitioned. And that was a stepping towards, stepping away from and a stepping towards at the same time. Like, a compass of, like, this is not right for me.This doesn't feel right for me. You know, like. And I came to the point where one day I started thinking I should have been born a girl. So that kind of compass.But the other side of it was my business life, if you like. And I always felt that I was here for something more. I always felt I was here for something important. And I kept looking and looking and looking.And I tried different businesses and explored in different things, and none of it really worked very well. But I was always looking, I always believed, even in the darkest days. And it's very interesting that my compass has changed now.And I have been doing a lot of work in the last couple of years around embodiment, around the wisdom of my own body, my intuition, my sacral, my responses. And I am finding that as I live my life now, my compass is intuitive.And I do what lights me up, what excites me, what feels good, where I feel like I'm falling forward into the next choice. Recently, I, you know, I lost a lot of money through this year, through legal processes, you know, divorce processes, and my.My mom passed away a few years ago, and there are consequences. And I came up to the sunshine coast here in Queensland, and I really felt like screaming.And I put a post in Facebook and I said, who else feels like screaming? Who wants to come to the beach? And we gather around and we scream.And we just share this experience about being human beings because we are emotional creatures and we live in societies that seek to repress and suppress these emotions that we behold and yet we have them. And the response was extraordinary. I had like a thousand reactions and hundreds of comments and went on the radio and got interviewed.And I continue to do this. And it just feels good. It feels right, and it feels easy.And that compass is the compass that I am wanting to live by now, not the one which says, this is hard. I have to force this struggle, push, you know, because that's how it's done. That's how I'm told to do it. Does that make sense, Michael?You know, these different.

Absolutely makes sense. I mean, it's little steps. You have to take little steps before you can take big steps.Little steps help us recognize what we do to make the big steps. Yeah, yeah, Sounds like that. That's what you had done. You've said your life was like one big, long reinvention. That sounds like some of that was.That were a series of moments that told you it was time to change everything. I'm guessing that includes your, you know, your current marital status, your life in general, who you were, and kind of come out to your truth, huh?

Well, it's. Yeah.Like there are key moments, and some of those key moments are like when you've just had enough and you've just decided that I don't want this anymore and I'm going to take action.You know, there's this story about that Les Brown tells, you know, and I really like Les Brown as A speaker, and he tells his story about the dog on the nail. And, you know, this dog is on a veranda and it's whimpering. And this fellow says, you know, why is your dog whimpering? And he says, it's on a nail.And he says, why is it on the nail? Why doesn't it get off? And he says, because it's not hurting enough yet.So many of us live lives where it's hurting but not quite enough, you know, And I think, what a waste. What a waste. We need to listen to the hurt because it's our emotional response to something that's wrong. Yeah, yeah. To get off the nail.

I agree with that. Yeah. We have similar childhoods.I grew up with alcoholic parents myself, and I. I lost my father to alcoholism, actually, when I was very young, 17 years old, actually. So I can relate to you in that regard.It creates somebody that withdraws and you kind of hide from the world your emotions because you were in emotionally, not you, but I'm saying you as in me. It was an emotionally suppressant household. You know, we weren't allowed to do a lot of stuff. We weren't allowed to, you know, cry out. You weren't.We weren't allowed to speak out. We weren't allowed to talk about it a lot because of. Both my parents were alcoholics, and they just didn't want to hear it kind of a thing.So I think finding your way, finding.Taking those little steps and finding your way, even though it took as long as it did for you, obviously that had to have been liberating for you to be able to step into your true self, step into what you are supposed to be.

I'm living my best life now, you know, and it took me. It took me in my mid-60s to discover that. And I am happier, more fulfilled, and freer than I've ever been in my whole life. And this.This is irrespective of, you know, I lost a ton of money. Income's a challenge, all of these sorts of things. And it's not dependent on something outside of me anymore.The resources that I had, it's now in me and it's embodied in me.And it's the self trust and I've built in me as I grow myself emotionally, as I grow myself as an entrepreneur, as a speaker, Stand in front of more and more stages, get more and more feedback, build the evidence that actually I am safe and I find safety within now, not without.

It wasn't, but it is now. Once you made that decision to live as Your authentic self. What was the very first thing in your life that shifted internally or externally?

Happiness.

Happiness right away. Well, and that's what we all strive for, right?

Yeah, that was this. Like, I spent my life thinking I'm not a happy person and I would consciously think that I'm just not a happy person. And I didn't know why.I think I know why now, but it was actually when I left my family and moved away from. I was in Sydney in Australia and moved to Adelaide to help care for my mum because she had dementia. And it was a beginning of COVID actually.And so I was living in Adelaide in the family home and I felt so free. I suddenly found, you know, I still had the crap, I still had the struggle. I still was trying to make some businesses successful.I still didn't have an income. I had like 30,000 emails to.I didn't have the courage to open because I've had this crappy money mindset and I've got debts and I've got taxes and I've got blah, blah, blah and all that stuff. But I have learned that those things are not me. Those things are outside of me and my own identity. I am not.I am more than the sum of the stuff that I have to deal with. You know, I can all of those things, I get to choose the meaning that they have over me. I can.Like, when we finish speaking here, I will go and do some business things and clean up some stuff and blah, blah, blah, you know, through my day sort of thing. But they want me. I pick them up and I put them down again and I am happy, irrespective.

Which is a good thing. Oh, it's a very, very good thing. I mean, you have, you've lived life both as a man and a woman.What perspectives has that given you about identity culture and the human journey? If I can ask that.

What a great question. How long have we got?

Well, you know, we got a little time. We got a little time. We got a little time.

What was the identity culture and the human experience?

Human journey, yeah, or experience.

I'm going to say something that might be quite controversial actually, because in my learned experience now, I have learned how similar men and women are really like.And of course, we have different physical bodies and different hormone things that go on in our bodies and different life experiences vis a vis, you know, having children or whatever. But actually, so much of what I have learned is that so much of our gender is conditioned, is learned. Like, let me start with emotional intelligence.Like as a man I lived in an emotional tradition where emotions weren't recognized, weren't talked about, weren't discussed, were suppressed. And as a woman, and I'm not.This is not for all women by any means, because many women don't have this experience, but the experience that I've had and women that are my life and who I'm embedded with, surrounded with these women are like, emotionally evolved, emotionally mature. These are women who do the work on themselves. And my emotional experience is so vastly different now.My ability to be vulnerable, to not be judged, to be okay with crying and expressing my truth and being okay with that has given me such strength and power.Yeah, I've learned, you know, like, the experience that I have as a woman, like many women, have this experience of being needing to care, needing to serve others before themselves, needing to always be showing up for other people, putting other people before themselves. Right. This is. This is not a. This is not an innate gender thing. This is a condition thing. This is about life experience and life expectations.We have men. You know, like, I lived as a. You know, as. As I described living, growing up in Adelaide with my political environment.There was also a cultural environment where as a man, I was white, educated, had advantages, and lived in a bubble of, I don't think entitlement really, but expectation, you know, So I had expectation about I would be treated with respect. I would be go into a shop and be served, and people would listen to what I had to say, you know, that kind of. Kind of expectation.And a lot of women don't have that kind of expectation. Safety, you know, the safety that I used to take for granted as a man is not the same kind of safety that I can. I can necessarily rely on as a woman.And many women don't. You know, like, we have a sense of being unsafe in the world, of being objectified, you know, of being harassed, being not taken seriously.You know, like, we live in a world where men tend to have more authority than women. And this is.This is stuff that is conditioned to us through the media, through movies, through everything, you know, like, our role models of authority always, you know, virtually always tend to be male, you know, and so there are these differences in the world, but this is. This is the world we've created, not something that's innately gendered, you know, and my goodness, you know, like, I adore my life as a woman.I adore the hidden freedoms that I find, like the freedom to walk down the street and for people not to cross to the other side of the road. I have had that. The freedom to be able to touch someone on the shoulder and not to, you know, like, be a come on or have any meaning.The freedom to be emotional, the freedom to be a safe person to be around, you know, these, you know, freedom of expression, freedom of color, freedom of flamboyance. You know, I find as a woman, there are just so much more freedoms that I adore, you know, and these are my choices of freedom, you know.

And I think society as a whole, I mean, in the most cultures, as you have found out yourself, they always make that distinction between men and women and how men and women should interact with others as well as, like I said, the man's always got to be this, this, this, this. You can't be angry, you can't cry. You know, you, you grew up going, you can't cry if you're a man, you're not supposed to cry.You got to be tough, you know, this kind of a thing. Or if you're, if you're a woman, you know, the same thing is, and this is not my feeling, this is absolutely 100, a thousand percent.You can listen to any other episode I have on here, but you, you have society say that women should be two steps behind me and just cook and clean and shut up. And that's not me. We have two daughters, my wife and I, we have two daughters.I have empowered my daughters to be strong, self sufficient, to be empowered, to know that they can achieve anything that they want to achieve in this world. That, that's from my perspective because I grew up in an environment that did what I just said.I grew up watching my grandparents do that and my great grandparents doing that and some aunts and some uncles. Me, I'm safe because they haven't mentioned any names, but I grew up in an environment where they did that quite a bit.I made the valid choice not to do that, in that our daughters can grow up empowered, grow up knowing that they can achieve whatever they set out to achieve without somebody trying to hold them back because they're a woman, to reach and blow out the glass ceiling that's above them. So I, I, I applaud that from your perspective. It gave you freedom. It was a freedom that came with living as a woman that you didn't have before.And I'm sure that's, I'm sure this surprised you at first, but now you're comfortable with it.

Oh, I'm so comfortable with this. Comfortable in my skin, you know. And, you know, like a lot of women have body shame, you Know, and as a.As a man, I had body shame also, and many men do, and now I don't. No, I. I just. I just. I was meant to be like this. But, you know, really, I think. I think my real message is not about gender at all.It's about authenticity. It's the freedom through authenticity. It's the freedom through recognizing your truth and taking action to step towards that.

Really, which is a good thing.I think men and women can take that to heart because I believe that we all should have that opportunity to understand our own possibilities, our own purpose, and the life that we were all meant to live and to help others achieve that same success.

One of my.The key things that I say in my speaking is to tell a better story and to recognize the stories that we tell ourselves and to become aware of those and to question them and ask, where can I start? You know, what am I believing that is no longer my truth. It may not have ever been my truth. It might have been someone else's.And so this is about questioning all of those rules and beliefs about our lives, where they've come from, do they serve us? And maybe we can start to tell ourselves a different story.And, you know, I feel that this journey of mine, like, the gender is just one part of it, and it's not even the biggest part, to be honest. And, like, I am a trans woman. But we're all transitioning, all of us, just a different kind of transition to become the kind of woman that I am.And, you know, you've transitioned to become the kind of man that you are. And who you are today was. Is not who you were yesterday or who you'll be tomorrow. And we are all.We all have agency about how our lives unfold, you know, and whether we want to be intentional about tomorrow or. Or let it happen to us, you know, And I know what I want. I am powerful. I have power over my life.I have power over my language, over my messages that I communicate, what I do, the difference I make in the world.And, you know, like, I didn't have to transition to, you know, become this person, but I kind of did because it was the access point to the emotions, emotional intelligence.

Well, sometimes I think we all have to be able to see. I mean, you. I think, if I can say this, I think you help people see what they cannot see for themselves, and maybe because they.They don't know where to look or.

How to look or that there is anything to be looked at.

Yeah. Yes, exactly. They could be not recognizing that they're just where they need to be.

These. These beliefs of ours, they are so sneaky. Yes, that's. I have a coach, and I will always have a coach because coaches help us see what we can't see.And ask me. She asks me questions, and I think, oh, my God, you know, and you're a coach.

What do you think most people misunderstand about their own potential?

Oh, everything. Everything. You know, like, I. I feel like in my, you know, my LinkedIn banner and my Facebook banner, it says, opening minds, unlocking potential.You know, because. I. I think, you know, I feel that most of us have no capacity, no clue about our capacities and how incredible we really are. You know, like.Like our capacity to expand is limitless, and yet we limit ourselves through stories and beliefs and, you know, like, other people's opinions and judgment and so forth. And. And we do it for a reason. We do it to keep ourselves safe. You know, we do it to. Because our unconscious minds are frightened about where. It's.Where this journey is taking us. We've never been there before, and. And it wants to keep us in a safe and familiar place, you know, so it stays. Stays stuck, if you like. Yeah.

But sometimes we just need somebody to open that door, open that window, so we have an understanding. What was the hardest belief about yourself that you had to unlearn in order to step into your new life? Because that had to be difficult.Me, as a look, after I reached. I was forced to retire. I loved being a police officer. I was a sergeant. I had a team, like a team of men and women that I managed.I wanted to be a lieutenant. And it was stopped short.So when it was stopped short in my situation for six months after, everywhere we went, I was calling things in, and the other guys kept going, sarge, just let go, relax. We got this kind of a thing. I had to unlearn how to be a cop.

So the question was, what was the biggest learning, like, what was the hardest.

Belief in yourself that you had to unlearn in order to step into your new life? I had to unlearn to be a cop. What did you have to unlearn in order to step into your new life?

I think the things that have been the hardest, like the. The hardest parts of this journey have been self acceptance, I think. And it's kind of not so much an unlearning, but a learning, I think.Like, I. I spent 60 years as a man, and I am not. I am so not a man. There is nothing about me anymore that is masculine. And like, some of that has been external.You know, I've had various surgeries and things and the way I show up and my, you know, like creating this, this body and this Persona. But that's kind of an easy bit. The hardest bit has been the self doubt around am I entitled, do I belong?Do I have the right to sit in this circle of women and be equal in a gender? I mean, we've got all have different journeys and every, every single person on the planet has had a different journey to get where they are.But is my journey valid enough kind of thing? And that has taken a lot of work, a lot of work. And it's, it's not from people outside of me.It's been from within me to, to accept that what, what they are saying to me, like with my voice, with how I show up, with my energy within a circle of women, because it's learned.And that's kind of what I was trying to say earlier about going from a masculine tradition to a feminine tradition is there is a different energy, there's a different connection, there's a different relationship between women than there was between men. And it's learnable, you know, So I have been 100% female for six years.I have been embedded, living life, the experience of the living as a woman for all of that time. So I'm a very young woman. I'm just beginning, you know, but I have 6 valid years of embedment in this life, this culture, this from that perspective.

Well, now that you're living fully as yourself, what does everyday authenticity look like?

Just looks normal. I live as a woman. I, you know, all my documentation, all of the.I go out there, I dress up, put on a skirt, put on a little singlet, put on a bikini, go down the beach, you know, like, do my hair, do my nails, you know, just chat, chat at the, you know, supermarket queue, whatever, you know, just chat, chat.

Very cool.

Yeah, it's just, it's just like my normal life is just female, but it's on my. It's. But online, as a speaker, I do say that I'm trans.And I do it because it's very unique and it gives me a really interesting perspective on the world.And like, I just want to say something about, you know, this, this current anti trans, anti LGBT stuff that's going on, because when we shut down other people's voices, we shut down perspective, we shut down opportunity to expand and learn, and we miss the lessons that such people have to offer, you know, And I know that my Worldview, my perspective, my loosening the grip on what I thought was truth.There are powerful lessons in this for everyone in our capacity to reinvent, recreate ourselves, to create lives and identities that are our truths and that fill us with joy. And this is what I'm all about. It's about the transitions that we make, the choices that we make, the lives that we create.And making this one and only time on this planet be the best time it could possibly be. Not litting boxes and other people's rules and. But blow that up.

Exactly, exactly, exactly. Where you help people to achieve that as a coach and you bring people to the realization that they can be their authentic selves.Let's talk about how somebody can get a hold of you and get in touch with you so that you can help them.

Oh, Michael, you're so kind. Look what you've done. You, you know, like www.bobbybarrington b o b b I bobbybarrington.com that's my website. I am not the finished story.I am just working this out like everyone else. You know, my website need work, needs work. My social media needs work. My messaging needs work. You know, everything needs work. But, you know, I am.What I am is what you see. And people can reach me at my website or on my socials. So I'm on Facebook if you search for Bobby Barrington, I'm the chick with some purple hair.I'm six foot tall, can't miss you. And I've started playing pickleball and cycling and I go to the gym and I. I'm 66.And I intend to keep living my life this way and pushing my boundaries and discovering what I'm capable of doing. I really want to know.

And you've got several programs that people can get into and a special gift for people.

I do, you know, and this is something that's come up. I've got something called how to Feel Alive Again. And it's just about 11 or 12 pages or something.It's a week's guided tour on asking yourself some quality questions.That's for people who, you know, there's lots of people I come across, you know, in my world who, women particularly, who get to a point where they start to feel a bit disillusioned about life, you know, And I think surely there's more to it than this, you know, this is not the dream.You know, this is when I was a young woman or a young man, I had these dreams and goals and ambitions, and somehow along the way, they've disappeared. And kids Came and jobs came and obligations came and mortgages came and you come to a point where you think, what's it all about?You know, and so this is a little guided tour to help people start to remind themselves through self reflection and questions. What do I want? What do I want? You know, I'm on this planet for one brief, shiny, bright flash of light and then it's gone. Who do you want to be?What is your 80 year old, 90 year old self going to say to you? You know, if you look forward, what are your 20 year old self going to say to you?You know, and we have these talents and passions and ambitions and we are like this world is so abundant with possibility. Incidentally speaking, French, I have a tattoo on my arm in French. It says eau de la du possible. And that means beyond possibility.

Very cool.

Yeah, very cool. It's about the possibility that you haven't even thought about yet. So let's.

So how can somebody get this, this gift?

The link is in the show notes.

I believe the link will be in the show notes. So I'll make sure that it gets there.

Amazing.

Bobby, we could continue the conversation for another hour, but I know that we can't. We can, but we can't. So I want to thank you very much for coming on the show.It's been really eye opening and I love it and appreciate you sharing your journey, your experience, your wisdom with us. I'm grateful for that. But I have to say this is one more thing before you go. So words of wisdom, please.If someone's listening who feel stuck in their identity, their career, their relationship was the first step towards choosing themselves.

One of the things that was a key moment for me in my transition, as my mindset, transition, not my gender, was just to stop when I stopped the doing, stopped the forcing, stopped the struggling and went and sat on a hill and did nothing and didn't listen to anything, read anything, no music, no, nothing like that. Because I was starting to lose confidence in myself, belief in myself.And I had all of these reasons and excuses and, you know, like stories that I was running about why I can't do this thing, why I can't. And it was that moment when suddenly I started to realize that I can and I have and all my life I'd been successful. I just lost sight of that.And suddenly these ideas started bubbling up which me and my. I had a coach at the time and she said to me, you know, Bobby, of all of these ideas, what lights you up?And I said, I think I'M going to have more of an impact with what I say than with what I do. And then my speaker coach appeared and then everything started to shift, you know, and it was by. We live in cultures that reward doing.They don't reward being. And it's the being, how you are, your energy, your energetic state, how you show up, that matters more than anything.And listen, listen to your wisdom, listen to your body being.

That's it. Those are brilliant. That's a brilliant words of wisdom. Being, just being. Being. That's brilliant. Brilliant. That's brilliant.Bobby, again, thank you very much for being on the show. Thank you very much for sharing this journey with me.

My pleasure. It's been a great hour.

It has been. Well, it's in another conversation down the road. You're going to. You're going to start writing a book. As what you said, you got to write a book.So when you write the book, you'll have to come back on. Okay, we can do that. Okay, that's great. Bobby, I hope that you have a continued journey that's one of healthy, happy and prosperous.

Thank you, Michael. And to all the listeners and viewers as well, you know, thank you for spending this time with us.

Today. Bobby reminded us that invention isn't about becoming someone new.It's about returning to the person you've always were, the one buried beneath expectation, fear, and the the stories we inherit before we ever learn to speak. Her journey shows us that it's never too late to choose truth, never too late to choose courage, never too late to choose yourself.And maybe that's the real lesson here. Life doesn't ask us to be perfect.It asks us to be honest, to be curious, to be willing to step into the unknown and trust that the life waiting for us is bigger than the one we left behind. So again, Bobby, thank you very much for your courage, your wisdom, and your willingness to live your truth out loud.And for you, listening and watching, if there's a part of your life that no longer fits, a story you've outgrown, maybe today is the day you can ask yourself the question Bobby Fabi answered. What becomes possible when you decide to live the life that was always meant for you? So that's a wrap for today.I hope you found the inspiration, motivation, and a few new perspectives to take with you. If you enjoyed this conversation, be sure to, like, subscribe and follow us. Stay connected.You can find us on Apple, Spotify, and your favorite listening platform. And you can head over to YouTube and catch the full video version until next time, keep seeking, keep growing and never stop asking.Have a great day, have a great week and thank you for being part of One More Thing before you Go.

Thanks for listening to this episode of One More Thing before you Go.Check out our website at before you for you gopodcast.com you can find us as well as subscribe to the program and rate us on your favorite podcast listening platform.